Life in our house gets pretty hectic. There's a 2 year old, a 3 month old, 2 puppies, and 3 cats. There's a man child that doesn't think cleaning up the dog poop is important. And there's also a mom that can be a bit of a control freak. Those kids have appointments, those pets make annoying messes and don't listen, those parents don't always agree, and that house is an old, annoying "not what I thought I was buying" kind of mess. A nice chunk of my day is "correcting" pets and children...AKA yelling at pets and children. My poor neighbors hear a lot of, "NO (insert one of five names here)!!" Another big part of my day is cleaning up never ending messes that really don't need to happen. Why did the dogs pull the table cloth off? Why is Tank eating out of the litter box and spitting it out on the floor? Why is there pee all over the toilet and surrounding area? Who doesn't shut the shower curtain? Did they think the bathroom needed a shower too? The other day, I even left the house in just my socks.
Every parent goes through this. That's what we sign up for when we have kids and get pets. Every couple has their arguments. I still often find myself praying for an easier day. Pleeeaaaase can the kids take a nap at the same time so I can put some wash away? Can Lillian leave the sleeping baby alone for more than 5 minutes so we can have some mom and Lilly time? Can she NOT act like a mean 13 year old girl when I try to help her with things? Why is everyone throwing a fit at the same time? No reason for them to be screaming like this....And then sometimes I join in and yell too.
I am lucky to have always been able to keep track of the so many good and amazing things that happen. Whether it be by posting about it, taking a picture, or recording a video. With all of our social networking and phones that I still think are capable of too many things, it's so easy to capture what is happening in our lives and share it with people. This helps on those days that you just can't get anything accomplished.
Andrew and I essentially met on Facebook. That's cheesy and whatever. But since most of our communication was through messages on Facebook, I still have all of them. I have all the first little moments that brought us here. So when I feel like I just can't stand him anymore, it's nice to go back and see what made us love each other in the first place. We are those same people, just in a different situation. It's easy to forget what pulled us together, but because I still have it all in my inbox, I get to relive it.
We are both constantly looking back on pictures and videos of both of our girls. While it makes us realize how fast they grow up, we are always able to see them reaching their milestones. I don't need to remember why I love my kids. But it is nice to go back and smile at all of those videos and pictures after a day of nobody getting along.
It's also awesome to see how far Lillian has come. I know we will love this with Maddy too, but we have watched Lillian try so hard for quite a few things and she has always proved she can do anything. Right now we are struggling with basic signing and it gets frustrating because I know she can do it. Then I get to watch old videos of her bear walking when we wanted her to stand and walk properly. Back then it felt like it took forever. One day, she just started running into her dad's arms. We spent an entire morning taking videos of her running to each of us to tackle and hug us. She did it on her own terms the way she wanted to. While I know she will reach all of her goals, seeing how she did it in the past makes it easier to keep trying today.
Today is one of those days. I'm typing this over the course of two hours with one hand while I sing and sign with Lilly, feed and burp Maddy, get dogs off the sofa, and shoo cats from the counter. I had half a cup of coffee and a cookie for breakfast, which is actually good compared to most mornings. I forgot to put on underwear this morning. And we are still waiting to have our new furnace installed towards the end of October in PA. Stressed much? But now I have this post as a reminder to look back. We all need to remember why we do what we do.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
What Lillian Wants You to Know...
October is pretty packed when it comes to awareness. Obviously, our favorite cause is Down Syndrome Awareness. We do a pretty good job surrounding ourselves with people that love and accept Lillian, but through social networking like Facebook we still find a lot of ignorance in our world.
It is easy to get angry. It is easy to be upset. I have every reason to be frustrated at people that don't understand my daughter and her diagnosis, especially when it leads them to say something rude. But at the end of the day, I need to realize that it is pure ignorance. They don't know any better. Yes, there are people that are just malicious and can't be helped. There are also a lot of people that have good intentions but have the wrong or no information. This usually comes in the form of, "She doesn't look like she has Down Syndrome, she looks fine..." Or, "She acts normal, she does what other kids are doing. Maybe she doesn't have it as bad as other people with DS." The MOST annoying one, "Have you ever had her retested? Maybe there was a mistake."
😳...✋...😑...
Listen. My daughter's blood doesn't lie. My daughter is who she is. Now that that is out of the way, I understand that the people that can say these things just don't know what Down Syndrome really means, is, or what it looks like. They are given the same outdated information that so many parents receive when getting their diagnosis. Can you blame them for being surprised at how well many of our children are doing? In the past, Down Syndrome meant low quality of life living in an institution. (Insert huge thank you to every family that went against that and proved our kids are worth raising and loving and letting the world see what they are really capable of.)
I can keep going with nice facts about what Down Syndrome means today and what that means for the future, but I think it would be better to talk about what Lillian would like you to know about her.
Lilly would want the world to know that she isn't beautiful DESPITE having Down Syndrome. She is gorgeous because of it. Her pretty eyes and cute nose are directly related to DS. Just as someone's red hair or blue eyes can make them appealing, Lillian's Down Syndrome is part of what makes her so adorable. She also isn't an exception. She is no doubt amazing, but that's because she's my baby. The things you see her doing are the same things every other kid with or without Down Syndrome will do.
Down Syndrome doesn't mean she suffers. Her little sister doesn't suffer. Her parents don't suffer. Her family doesn't suffer. We are all blessed to have her in our lives just as we are blessed to have her little sister Maddy. Her personality doesn't scream Down Syndrome. Instead it says, "I'm Lilly and I'm cute and I ROCK."
Lillian has the same feelings as anyone else. She isn't too stupid to understand. She doesn't need to be treated differently than others. Down Syndrome isn't an excuse to let her get away with things or treat her badly. She knows which people will let her do whatever she wants, which ones will fall for her sad eyes and which ones tend to give in to her cute acts. She's very smart and knows who to play and how. Lillian is a wonderful big sister, daughter, grand daughter, niece, cousin, and friend. She is determined and strong willed. Lilly is smart and witty. She is strong and always ready to dance or play.
Most of all, she wants you to see her for who she is. She does have Down Syndrome, and this is what it looks like. Accept that. Embrace it.
It is easy to get angry. It is easy to be upset. I have every reason to be frustrated at people that don't understand my daughter and her diagnosis, especially when it leads them to say something rude. But at the end of the day, I need to realize that it is pure ignorance. They don't know any better. Yes, there are people that are just malicious and can't be helped. There are also a lot of people that have good intentions but have the wrong or no information. This usually comes in the form of, "She doesn't look like she has Down Syndrome, she looks fine..." Or, "She acts normal, she does what other kids are doing. Maybe she doesn't have it as bad as other people with DS." The MOST annoying one, "Have you ever had her retested? Maybe there was a mistake."
😳...✋...😑...
Listen. My daughter's blood doesn't lie. My daughter is who she is. Now that that is out of the way, I understand that the people that can say these things just don't know what Down Syndrome really means, is, or what it looks like. They are given the same outdated information that so many parents receive when getting their diagnosis. Can you blame them for being surprised at how well many of our children are doing? In the past, Down Syndrome meant low quality of life living in an institution. (Insert huge thank you to every family that went against that and proved our kids are worth raising and loving and letting the world see what they are really capable of.)
I can keep going with nice facts about what Down Syndrome means today and what that means for the future, but I think it would be better to talk about what Lillian would like you to know about her.
Lilly would want the world to know that she isn't beautiful DESPITE having Down Syndrome. She is gorgeous because of it. Her pretty eyes and cute nose are directly related to DS. Just as someone's red hair or blue eyes can make them appealing, Lillian's Down Syndrome is part of what makes her so adorable. She also isn't an exception. She is no doubt amazing, but that's because she's my baby. The things you see her doing are the same things every other kid with or without Down Syndrome will do.
Down Syndrome doesn't mean she suffers. Her little sister doesn't suffer. Her parents don't suffer. Her family doesn't suffer. We are all blessed to have her in our lives just as we are blessed to have her little sister Maddy. Her personality doesn't scream Down Syndrome. Instead it says, "I'm Lilly and I'm cute and I ROCK."
Lillian has the same feelings as anyone else. She isn't too stupid to understand. She doesn't need to be treated differently than others. Down Syndrome isn't an excuse to let her get away with things or treat her badly. She knows which people will let her do whatever she wants, which ones will fall for her sad eyes and which ones tend to give in to her cute acts. She's very smart and knows who to play and how. Lillian is a wonderful big sister, daughter, grand daughter, niece, cousin, and friend. She is determined and strong willed. Lilly is smart and witty. She is strong and always ready to dance or play.
Most of all, she wants you to see her for who she is. She does have Down Syndrome, and this is what it looks like. Accept that. Embrace it.
Friday, March 21, 2014
World Down Syndrome Day 2014!
There are so many different ways you can celebrate kiddos and adults like my Lilly today. Some of you will show your support with t-shirts, bracelets, blue and yellow ribbons, or crazy socks. Many of you will "like" and "share" pictures and videos that all of the different DS awareness pages are posting online. All I ask anyone to do today, is take a minute or two to really learn why Lillian isn't any different than you.
A big update on Lilly is that she has started walking. Out of the blue, just started taking steps to me and her dad. She is so proud of herself when she gets to where she's going! It makes us so proud.
When we showed her physical therapist what she could do, she was of course ecstatic, but she said something that was so awesome and true. She told me that her help didn't do anything for Lillian but show her how to do what she was already destined to do. Lillian was always going to stand, walk, and run. While we worked with her to find the best ways to do it, she achieved her goals on her own terms and in her own way. Just like she was always going to. In my own mind, I know that Lillian will do everything she wants to do. It's very refreshing to hear someone else put it in those words, though. It's also the simplest way to explain why Down Syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. While it may take Lillian and others with this diagnosis a little bit longer to complete their milestones, they WILL get there.
Lillian isn't happier than other babies because she has Down Syndrome. She isn't special because she has Down Syndrome. She also isn't stupid because she has Down Syndrome. Lillian is Lillian.
Lillian is silly, sassy, cuddly, and hilarious. Lilly is beautiful. She loves yogurt and fruit snacks. Lillian dances as soon as she hears music. Her favorite shows are SpongeBob, The Bubble Guppies, and WallyKazam. She demands attention because she looooves to be in the spotlight. Her puppy is her best buddy, she kisses him the same way he kisses her and gives him all of her socks and toys. Lilly hates when I do her hair, thank goodness the pebbles ponytail is adorable because that's the only thing she can't tear out. She loves bath time. Lillian knows when you're mad or upset, and she'll give you extra kisses to make you smile. Our Lillian is our world because she's our daughter and duh, you love your kids.
Oh, and Lillian happens to have Down Syndrome.
A big update on Lilly is that she has started walking. Out of the blue, just started taking steps to me and her dad. She is so proud of herself when she gets to where she's going! It makes us so proud.
When we showed her physical therapist what she could do, she was of course ecstatic, but she said something that was so awesome and true. She told me that her help didn't do anything for Lillian but show her how to do what she was already destined to do. Lillian was always going to stand, walk, and run. While we worked with her to find the best ways to do it, she achieved her goals on her own terms and in her own way. Just like she was always going to. In my own mind, I know that Lillian will do everything she wants to do. It's very refreshing to hear someone else put it in those words, though. It's also the simplest way to explain why Down Syndrome is nothing to be afraid of. While it may take Lillian and others with this diagnosis a little bit longer to complete their milestones, they WILL get there.
Lillian isn't happier than other babies because she has Down Syndrome. She isn't special because she has Down Syndrome. She also isn't stupid because she has Down Syndrome. Lillian is Lillian.
Lillian is silly, sassy, cuddly, and hilarious. Lilly is beautiful. She loves yogurt and fruit snacks. Lillian dances as soon as she hears music. Her favorite shows are SpongeBob, The Bubble Guppies, and WallyKazam. She demands attention because she looooves to be in the spotlight. Her puppy is her best buddy, she kisses him the same way he kisses her and gives him all of her socks and toys. Lilly hates when I do her hair, thank goodness the pebbles ponytail is adorable because that's the only thing she can't tear out. She loves bath time. Lillian knows when you're mad or upset, and she'll give you extra kisses to make you smile. Our Lillian is our world because she's our daughter and duh, you love your kids.
Oh, and Lillian happens to have Down Syndrome.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Becoming a "Second Time" Mom.
It's been a few months since I've posted on here. So I'll update on Lillian first.
Lilly has gotten her first two teeth in the past four months! She likes to use them when she's giving me kisses (ouch!) It is typical for children with Down Syndrome to get their teeth in late, and in different order. This has proven to be a challenge for her eating habits. She is able to self feed with her hands, but it's hard to find things she wants to feed herself since she hasn't had teeth up until now, and because she still doesn't have enough teeth to really grind her food. There are plenty of finger foods meant for toddlers just learning to chew or even gum food. Unfortunately, Lillian is a picky eater on top of the feeding issues that can come along with low tone and no (until now) teeth. Lilly will eat ANYTHING in yogurt or ice cream though :) Our Lilly Butt is also standing up by herself! She plays an adorable game where she stands up as fast as she can, holds her hands up in the air with her eyes big and wide, then falls on her butt and giggles like crazy when you say, "BOOM FALL DOWN!" She's entertained with this for as long as you play along.
We bought a new house! It needs plenty of work to get it to be what we want, but we're definitely loving all of the space. New house meant new...PUPPY! His name is Archer, and he's an Australian Shepherd mix that we adopted from a shelter. He's cute, and bad, and Lilly's new best bud.
And reading the title of this post, I'M PREGNANT!
We have been trying since Lillian was 3 months old to get pregnant. This was a pretty emotionally stressful time, as I wasn't having any luck. Then we had a miscarriage. Then no luck. But now, 20 weeks and baby is dancing up a storm in my belly! We haven't had an ultrasound to check the gender yet, that's scheduled in a few weeks. We also opted out of any prenatal tests. Same conditions as my pregnancy with Lillian...if we see something wrong in an ultrasound or I'm having problems, THEN we can test. Other than that, any baby of mine is MY baby and will always be MY baby.
I'm positive Lillian will be a fantastic big sister. She loves being with other kids, although she does get jealous when I'm holding anyone else's baby... But big sisters always pick on the little ones, right? ;)
While I'm totally excited, I have plenty of worries to go along with it.
What are some things that are normally on a "second time" mom's mind?
How am I going to manage a 2 year old, a newborn, a puppy, 3 cats, and a man child?
How many days a week will I be able to work without being totally exhausted?
Will my job respect wanting to work weekends and ONE day a week this time, since they scheduled me full time regardless of my availability change after having Lillian?
Will new baby have a decent sleeping schedule so I'm not dead during the day with Lilly?
All of those are things we knew we'd have to consider when we decided to try for our second. I'm totally capable of dealing with that. We can change our routines and schedules until we're all in a new swing of things. Even though I know we'll be just fine, I'm still allowed to be stressed out about it.
Then there's a few things that run deeper.
I'm terrified that Lillian will always be my favorite. I already love the baby growing in my tummy, but I feel like we've had such a unique bonding experience with Lillian after everything we had to go through in the first few months. I have no issue with staying up all night to look at her and cuddle her, not just because she's my gorgeous baby, but because I know if she would've been given to a different set of parents...she might not be here. I know after how long it took to get pregnant, that EVERY child is a gift and I'm incredibly lucky. But I also know that many of the same parents that have gone through the same troubles to have their child, want their baby to be what everyone imagines as perfect. Many of them would also abort a baby with DS.
I know we will always do our best to raise our children to be admirable little people. I know I won't treat one differently than the other. Where Lillian needs extra attention, baby #2 will have the same attention and vice versa as to not leave anybody out. But what happens when our little babies become young adults? They learn to think totally for themselves. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't determine what morals and priorities they will have. What happens if baby #2 isn't that perfect sibling that embraces their sister's disability, instead of despising it?
I have this picture in my head of a little brother or sister that is totally in love with a big sister that is also totally in love with them, and they don't notice the differences until they're older. Then, when they learn what those "differences" are, they won't care. They'll give everyone that has anything mean to say about their sister a mouthful, and Lillian would do the same for them. They will play and laugh and learn together. They'll be each other's best friend.
While I know that this is the most likely outcome ^, I still have the same doubts that I feel any first, second, or third time momma does.
Those of you with more than one child, even if neither have any sort of disability, how did you cope with these type of worries? And how many of them actually came true?
Lilly has gotten her first two teeth in the past four months! She likes to use them when she's giving me kisses (ouch!) It is typical for children with Down Syndrome to get their teeth in late, and in different order. This has proven to be a challenge for her eating habits. She is able to self feed with her hands, but it's hard to find things she wants to feed herself since she hasn't had teeth up until now, and because she still doesn't have enough teeth to really grind her food. There are plenty of finger foods meant for toddlers just learning to chew or even gum food. Unfortunately, Lillian is a picky eater on top of the feeding issues that can come along with low tone and no (until now) teeth. Lilly will eat ANYTHING in yogurt or ice cream though :) Our Lilly Butt is also standing up by herself! She plays an adorable game where she stands up as fast as she can, holds her hands up in the air with her eyes big and wide, then falls on her butt and giggles like crazy when you say, "BOOM FALL DOWN!" She's entertained with this for as long as you play along.
We bought a new house! It needs plenty of work to get it to be what we want, but we're definitely loving all of the space. New house meant new...PUPPY! His name is Archer, and he's an Australian Shepherd mix that we adopted from a shelter. He's cute, and bad, and Lilly's new best bud.
And reading the title of this post, I'M PREGNANT!
We have been trying since Lillian was 3 months old to get pregnant. This was a pretty emotionally stressful time, as I wasn't having any luck. Then we had a miscarriage. Then no luck. But now, 20 weeks and baby is dancing up a storm in my belly! We haven't had an ultrasound to check the gender yet, that's scheduled in a few weeks. We also opted out of any prenatal tests. Same conditions as my pregnancy with Lillian...if we see something wrong in an ultrasound or I'm having problems, THEN we can test. Other than that, any baby of mine is MY baby and will always be MY baby.
I'm positive Lillian will be a fantastic big sister. She loves being with other kids, although she does get jealous when I'm holding anyone else's baby... But big sisters always pick on the little ones, right? ;)
While I'm totally excited, I have plenty of worries to go along with it.
What are some things that are normally on a "second time" mom's mind?
How am I going to manage a 2 year old, a newborn, a puppy, 3 cats, and a man child?
How many days a week will I be able to work without being totally exhausted?
Will my job respect wanting to work weekends and ONE day a week this time, since they scheduled me full time regardless of my availability change after having Lillian?
Will new baby have a decent sleeping schedule so I'm not dead during the day with Lilly?
All of those are things we knew we'd have to consider when we decided to try for our second. I'm totally capable of dealing with that. We can change our routines and schedules until we're all in a new swing of things. Even though I know we'll be just fine, I'm still allowed to be stressed out about it.
Then there's a few things that run deeper.
I'm terrified that Lillian will always be my favorite. I already love the baby growing in my tummy, but I feel like we've had such a unique bonding experience with Lillian after everything we had to go through in the first few months. I have no issue with staying up all night to look at her and cuddle her, not just because she's my gorgeous baby, but because I know if she would've been given to a different set of parents...she might not be here. I know after how long it took to get pregnant, that EVERY child is a gift and I'm incredibly lucky. But I also know that many of the same parents that have gone through the same troubles to have their child, want their baby to be what everyone imagines as perfect. Many of them would also abort a baby with DS.
I know we will always do our best to raise our children to be admirable little people. I know I won't treat one differently than the other. Where Lillian needs extra attention, baby #2 will have the same attention and vice versa as to not leave anybody out. But what happens when our little babies become young adults? They learn to think totally for themselves. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't determine what morals and priorities they will have. What happens if baby #2 isn't that perfect sibling that embraces their sister's disability, instead of despising it?
I have this picture in my head of a little brother or sister that is totally in love with a big sister that is also totally in love with them, and they don't notice the differences until they're older. Then, when they learn what those "differences" are, they won't care. They'll give everyone that has anything mean to say about their sister a mouthful, and Lillian would do the same for them. They will play and laugh and learn together. They'll be each other's best friend.
While I know that this is the most likely outcome ^, I still have the same doubts that I feel any first, second, or third time momma does.
Those of you with more than one child, even if neither have any sort of disability, how did you cope with these type of worries? And how many of them actually came true?
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