It's been a few months since I've posted on here. So I'll update on Lillian first.
Lilly has gotten her first two teeth in the past four months! She likes to use them when she's giving me kisses (ouch!) It is typical for children with Down Syndrome to get their teeth in late, and in different order. This has proven to be a challenge for her eating habits. She is able to self feed with her hands, but it's hard to find things she wants to feed herself since she hasn't had teeth up until now, and because she still doesn't have enough teeth to really grind her food. There are plenty of finger foods meant for toddlers just learning to chew or even gum food. Unfortunately, Lillian is a picky eater on top of the feeding issues that can come along with low tone and no (until now) teeth. Lilly will eat ANYTHING in yogurt or ice cream though :) Our Lilly Butt is also standing up by herself! She plays an adorable game where she stands up as fast as she can, holds her hands up in the air with her eyes big and wide, then falls on her butt and giggles like crazy when you say, "BOOM FALL DOWN!" She's entertained with this for as long as you play along.
We bought a new house! It needs plenty of work to get it to be what we want, but we're definitely loving all of the space. New house meant new...PUPPY! His name is Archer, and he's an Australian Shepherd mix that we adopted from a shelter. He's cute, and bad, and Lilly's new best bud.
And reading the title of this post, I'M PREGNANT!
We have been trying since Lillian was 3 months old to get pregnant. This was a pretty emotionally stressful time, as I wasn't having any luck. Then we had a miscarriage. Then no luck. But now, 20 weeks and baby is dancing up a storm in my belly! We haven't had an ultrasound to check the gender yet, that's scheduled in a few weeks. We also opted out of any prenatal tests. Same conditions as my pregnancy with Lillian...if we see something wrong in an ultrasound or I'm having problems, THEN we can test. Other than that, any baby of mine is MY baby and will always be MY baby.
I'm positive Lillian will be a fantastic big sister. She loves being with other kids, although she does get jealous when I'm holding anyone else's baby... But big sisters always pick on the little ones, right? ;)
While I'm totally excited, I have plenty of worries to go along with it.
What are some things that are normally on a "second time" mom's mind?
How am I going to manage a 2 year old, a newborn, a puppy, 3 cats, and a man child?
How many days a week will I be able to work without being totally exhausted?
Will my job respect wanting to work weekends and ONE day a week this time, since they scheduled me full time regardless of my availability change after having Lillian?
Will new baby have a decent sleeping schedule so I'm not dead during the day with Lilly?
All of those are things we knew we'd have to consider when we decided to try for our second. I'm totally capable of dealing with that. We can change our routines and schedules until we're all in a new swing of things. Even though I know we'll be just fine, I'm still allowed to be stressed out about it.
Then there's a few things that run deeper.
I'm terrified that Lillian will always be my favorite. I already love the baby growing in my tummy, but I feel like we've had such a unique bonding experience with Lillian after everything we had to go through in the first few months. I have no issue with staying up all night to look at her and cuddle her, not just because she's my gorgeous baby, but because I know if she would've been given to a different set of parents...she might not be here. I know after how long it took to get pregnant, that EVERY child is a gift and I'm incredibly lucky. But I also know that many of the same parents that have gone through the same troubles to have their child, want their baby to be what everyone imagines as perfect. Many of them would also abort a baby with DS.
I know we will always do our best to raise our children to be admirable little people. I know I won't treat one differently than the other. Where Lillian needs extra attention, baby #2 will have the same attention and vice versa as to not leave anybody out. But what happens when our little babies become young adults? They learn to think totally for themselves. Sometimes, no matter what you do, you can't determine what morals and priorities they will have. What happens if baby #2 isn't that perfect sibling that embraces their sister's disability, instead of despising it?
I have this picture in my head of a little brother or sister that is totally in love with a big sister that is also totally in love with them, and they don't notice the differences until they're older. Then, when they learn what those "differences" are, they won't care. They'll give everyone that has anything mean to say about their sister a mouthful, and Lillian would do the same for them. They will play and laugh and learn together. They'll be each other's best friend.
While I know that this is the most likely outcome ^, I still have the same doubts that I feel any first, second, or third time momma does.
Those of you with more than one child, even if neither have any sort of disability, how did you cope with these type of worries? And how many of them actually came true?
